My mom got that chance yesterday at 8:23 a.m. Her husband said he was holding her hand as she took her last breath, and a tear rolled down her cheek. I will, forever, have that visual memory etched in my brain.
This journey through brain cancer ended with great suffering here on Earth. My mom spent most of her last two weeks bedridden with little and then no food or water in her last days. I had never experienced anyone having to be on a "morphine diet" before, and I pray I never have to do it again.
The trip she made to TX three weeks ago was my last visit with her. I knew it would be, even though I still held out hope it wouldn't be. She pulled every bit of strength she had to make the trip to see all her "people" one last time. Once back home, she gave up and gave into her disease. It did not take long for it to overcome her.
This is the last picture I want to remember of my momma. It was the day she had visited three weeks ago, and we were on our way out so she could see our new home that is being built. She was so happy!! I have two pictures that I wish I never received once I saw them. One was of her suffering in bed, and the other is of her lifeless body. The first image and the fact of knowing of her suffering haunted my dreams and brought on a panic attack for the first time in over seven years.
I do not wish that kind of pain on anyone....EVER!!
I know people who have the same kind of brain tumor my mom had and have lived with it for years...surgery after surgery...treatment after treatment. That was not the fate for my momma. God needed her.
I will always be grateful for the grace God gave my momma and I in setting the stage to allow my obedience to bring her to Christ. There is no better feeling than knowing that the ones you love are happy, healthy and whole in Heaven!!
What have I learned in this journey? God is always there. Through the hard times, the even harder times, the sad times, and the saddest of times when your loved one dies. God is always putting us in places to grow and to become more like His image to others.
I have cried til there were no more tears coming out, and I know I will cry many more tears for her being gone, but the peace of knowing where she is and who she is with...brings me back into the light!!
I am working together with a friend to create something in her memory to honor her...to make what she endured not be in vain...and to give all the Glory to GOD!! The proceeds of this will go to St. Jude Children's Hospital in her name. We are from Memphis, TN and that hospital has a special place in our hearts. My mom was a nurse, and she would be proud!
Thank you to all of you for your thoughts, prayers and more prayers!! This journey will bring a non-believer to Christ, and when they meet my precious momma...they can thank her!
Sincerest blessings to ya'll,
Melissa,
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear this, but God has a new angel.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time.