8.05.2015

Perspective and Grief

"Grief is like an ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing.  Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming.  All we can do is learn to swim."
Vicki Harrison

"I loved you at your darkest." Romans 5:8

I have not felt like blogging, much less doing anything else that I had to focus on my feelings lately.  As some of you know, my mom passed away from brain cancer on February 23rd of this year.  It was a short, 9-month battle, and she was literally my only person.

The person I could be truly myself with, be truly honest with, truly real with...each of us have that one person...my mom was it for me!

Over the past few months, the stages of grief have been hard.  I have never really allowed myself to go through anything like this.  Not through divorce, five miscarriages, even the death of my papa who was the only man, until God, that I truly trusted.  

Your prayers and cards and thoughts have been my lifeline alongside my daily walk with Jesus.  Knowing that he will "never forsake or abandon me" is where I reside. 

I always thought, being a woman of God, that knowing my mom is in Heaven would be enough to sustain my joy.  It hasn't been!  I know she is there with God, happy, healthy and watching over me, but my selfish humanness wants her back...even if for only a day.

The pain of losing your person is so encompassing that only leaning on God can make it somewhat ok.  

We have had so many blessings in our lives this year.  We finally moved into our newly built home, have another grandson on the way, and so much more!!

I needed to write this to lay out my feelings and move forward with joy and happiness being a choice I choose first daily...along with the trust and strength I find only in Him.

Again, thank you all for your prayers and thoughts...keep them coming

Many Blessings Ya'll,

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